


Someone to you

by Stupidfkndinosaur



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, Flirting, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, IwaOi Week 2020 (Haikyuu!!), Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Fluff, Iwaizumi hajima is also a mess, M/M, Oblivious Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa Tooru is a Mess, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Oikawa Toorus favorite food is milk bread, Pining Iwaizumi Hajime, Pining Oikawa Tooru, happy IwaOi, iwachan, iwaoi angst, iwaoi fluff, matsuhana supremacy, matsukawa is a great friend, oblivious boyfriends, seijoh stan for life, seijohs parents, soft babies, stupid oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27577064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stupidfkndinosaur/pseuds/Stupidfkndinosaur
Summary: Oikawa was often called a flower boy. His fan club president last year had even christened him the ‘Flower Prince.’But it was just supposed to be about his breathtaking beauty. He wasn’t supposed to be literally sprouting flowers in his chest.Allegedly, they belonged to his best friend, Iwaizumi Hajime.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 58
Kudos: 246





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, heres my try at writing a Hanahaki disease fic, IwaOi version.  
> This fic is really important to me and so, I hope you enjoy it!  
> I would love to hear your thoughts and criticisms if any so please don't shy away from commenting! it would mean a lot to me. 
> 
> *Trigger warning- There's mentions of blood, illness, homophobia and the struggle of coming to terms with sexuality, later on in the story. So, if these topics are difficult for you to read, I advise you to not to get invested in the story ig.

Chapter 1

_What if we ruin it all,_

_And love like fools?_

_\- Fools (Lauren Aquilina)_

Oikawa was often called a flower boy. His fan club president last year had even christened him the ‘Flower Prince.’

But it was just supposed to be about his breathtaking beauty. He wasn’t supposed to be literally sprouting flowers in his chest.

He stared at the damp, blue petals on his pillow. When he had first spotted them a few days ago, he had dealt with it the way he dealt with every terrifying thing – if he ignored them, they’d go away.

But they were still here - now stained red and bleeding into his pillow.

Fuck.

Everyone knew Oikawa loved nothing more than himself. So, when they heard of this new disease spreading around, Makki and Matsunn had joked about how Oikawa was practically immune to it.

“Captain you’re so lucky. Who knew being a self-absorbed asshole would one day come in handy?” Makki had exclaimed.

Oikawa had scowled at him and loftily replied “I’m the best so I obviously love myself best.”

That earned him a nice kick from Iwaizumi.

“MEAN IWA-CHAN!!!” he’d cried, pouting and rubbing his thigh.

“Stop spouting nonsense Shittykawa” Iwaizumi had growled.

Iwaizumi Hajime aka Iwa-Chan aka Mr. Grumpy was his childhood best friend. They had known each other since they were babies, courtesy of their moms who were also, best friends.

The flowers growing in his chest belonged to Mr. Grumpy.

Probably.

Definitely.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” he muttered under his breath, gathering the little petals. _This cannot be happening. Not right now_. Oikawa fought back tears as the fan rotated towards him, blowing a gust of wind and scattering the petals all over his room. The inter highs were just around the corner. They need to beat Shiratorizawa. He needs to prove to that stuck up asshole Ushijima that his team is perfect. This- it’s his last chance. He can’t be sick. Not now.

“TOORU! IWAIZUMI IS HERE!” his mother shouts from downstairs. He quickly dumped the petals in the dustbin and threw his bloodstained pillow under his bed. He could hear Iwaizumi stomping up the stairs grumbling like an old man. He slammed the door to the bathroom just as Iwaizumi threw open his bedroom door.

“Oi Shittykawa!” he barked banging the bathroom door, “If we're late again because of you, I'm going to kill you.

Oikawa's’ heart ricocheted in his chest. How could he face him? They had known each other their whole lives. One look at him and Hajime would know something was dreadfully wrong.

Thankfully, Iwaizumi was as dense as a water-soaked sponge and so he had failed to recognize that Oikawa was in love with him since middle school. Maybe even before then. But Tooru had realized it when he had hurt his knee and Iwa-chan hadn’t left him for even a second at the hospital. They had held each other and cried desperately, both of them terrified that they would never play volleyball again. Because, they both knew even at that tender age, that they wouldn't be able to enjoy the game without each other.

After washing his face, Oikawa stared at himself in the mirror not recognizing who had become in the last few days. His eyes were sunken in and his dark circles were terrible. His skin was pale and his lips chapped. To say he looked bad would be an understatement. He looked disgusting. He sunk to the floor, holding his head in his palms.

Oikawa hadn’t realized when his love had become physical enough to blossom as flowers from his heart. He didn't realize when he had become so heartsick.

_‘How did I not feel them till now?’_ he thought clipping the soft stems at the back of his throat with a cuticle scissor. The little flowers were beautiful. ‘I wonder what they are called’ he wondered. He saved a stem to show his sister who was a botanist. Quickly brushed his hair and applied some concealer to hide his dark circles. Taking a deep breath and ignoring the sharp pain that sparked through his chest - he stepped out of the bathroom.

“Good morning Iwa-Chan. You shouldn’t be growling so early in the morning. It’s bad for my health” he joked draping himself across the shorter boys' shoulders, blowing into his ear.

“Get off Stupidkawa!” Iwaizumi grunted pushing him off. Sure, Oikawa had no concept of personal space. But this helped him deal with his pining. He couldn't imagine not touching his Iwaizumi. He couldn't imagine space between them. There was no air in space.

“Iwa-Chan is such a meanie,” he pouted pulling off his pajama shirt and putting on his uniform.

He turned around and caught Iwaizumi staring at his back, eyebrows knit into a frown.

“Aww Iwa Chan, you don’t have to be jealous of my amazing body. Appreciate me with a smile.” he laughed wiggling his ass at him.

Hajime’s ears turned red. “Shut UP FLATTY KAWA!” he growled and then kicked his ass for good measure.

“Ow Iwa-chan how dare you. I have a great ass!” He gasped and then winced his chest clenching in pain.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at him, his eyes suspicious.

“Are you okay Tooru?” he asked, softly reaching to brush his cheek. Tooru shivered at the contact. Iwaizumi very rarely initiated any kind of skinship. Tooru allowed himself to melt under his touch for a few minutes.

“Iwa-chan I know I'm beautiful but I'm not a doll.” He replied, giggling nervously, pulling away.

The flowers seemed to blossom in tune with his racing heartbeat.

“Tooru.” He warned his forehead a forest of frowns. Oikawa wanted to smoothen those wrinkles with a kiss. Thankfully he held himself back.

“I'm fine Iwa-chan. Just tired.”

“Have you been staying up watching Shiratorizawa’s matches again?” he chided scowling.

He might have been.

“Iwa-chan how can you accuse me of sacrificing my beauty sleep!” He asked in a mock affronted tone, clutching his chest. He had been having trouble sleeping due to the pain, so he might have used volleyball as an escape route. Not that you would catch him admit it.

“Oikawa, I’ve known you since fetus. So don't play dumb with me. You look like a mess and you've lost weight. Are you sick?” He asked his eyebrows knitted together in worry, his mouth pressed into a thin line.

Oikawa wanted to kiss all the worry of his face. He thought about kissing Iwaizumi way too much.

“Iwa-chan, you've been staring at me that intently? Do you have a crush on me?” He asked eyes glinting with mischief and something like hope.

“Stupidkawa! I'm staying over tonight and making sure you get some sleep!” He barked thwacking Oikawa head with his alien plushy. Iwaizumi’s ears were red and a blush was creeping up his neck.

“Iwa-chan wants to sleep with me? I don't know if we are there yet Iwa-hubby!” He flirted flashing him a perverted grin.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP UGLYKAWA!” he yelled, his entire face burning red. “Come down quick or I’m leaving without you!” he snarled, stomping out of his room. Oikawa collapsed into peals of laughter.

_God that hurts,_ Oikawa thought still giggling to himself. He coughed out a few more bloody petals.

_I'm fine_ he thought obstinately shoving them into the dustbin and grabbing a handkerchief in case he coughed some more.

“Wait for me Iwa-chan” he sang, grabbing his volleyball shoes and skipped downstairs to his grumpy best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Tooru is an obstinate idiot and Iwa-Chan cares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided that I'll be updating every Sunday and Tuesday, hehehe.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 2

_I'm only down for you,_

_For you._

_\- Down 4 U (Blackbear)_

The day passed without much incident but Oikawa was careful not to talk too much or laugh too much. He didn’t want to cough up petals in front of his friends, especially not in front of Iwaizumi. Thankfully, Iwaizumi was in a different class with Makki and Mattsun so nobody really paid much notice to Oikawa being silent. Despite being very popular, Oikawa didn't have too many friends.  
Sure he was charming and could get anything he wanted by flashing a smile, but that's what most people found scary about him. Despite being friendly and always smiling, Oikawa was intimidating. And, if Oikawa was royalty, majestic and beautiful, Oikawa's fan club was a dragon, breathing fire at anyone who tried to bother their prince. He had put on a show for his fan club in the first period- exclaiming how tired he was because he had been studying all night and they ate it up. The entire day hey made sure nobody bothered him.

At the lunch break, he decided to just stay in class and take a nap. Usually, he had lunch with the other third years from his volleyball team but he really wasn't feeling like answering their questions.

“Hey, Oikawa.” He jolted awake surprised to hear Iwaizumi call his name with such seriousness when they weren’t in the middle of a match.

“Wow, Iwa Chan why are you here? Are you lost?”

Iwaizumi scowled at him. “Shut up IdiotKawa,” he muttered making his way to sit next to him. He sat down and casually dropped a packet on his desk.

It was Toorus favorite chocolate cream-filled milk bread.

“Aww!!! IWA CHAN YOU GOT ME MILK BREAD!!!” he exclaimed, ripping the packet open to take a big bite. He instantly regretted it as he choked on the flowers and in his throat.

“Stupidkawa eat slowly!” Iwaizumi admonished handing him a bottle of water.

He took a small sip, his eyes watering, and cleared his throat - the branches scratching against his vocal cords.

“Iwa Chan are you being controlled by aliens. Did u poison this milk bread?” he teased, taking a smaller bite this time and chewing a few times before swallowing. Iwaizumi flicked his forehead. “You’d never buy it for me like this randomly. Especially before I’ve eaten lunch!” he continued waggling his eyebrows at the spiky-haired boy.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “You haven’t been eating properly for almost a week. And you seem off.” Oikawa began to protest but he cut him off. ”Don’t lie to me Tooru.”

Oikawa shuddered at the use of his given name.

“You’re forgetting that I'm your best friend. I know you. probably better than you know yourself.” Oikawa opened his mouth to retort but Iwaizumi cut him off again.  
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I’m here for you. I’ll always be here to listen when you want to talk. I-“ He took a deep breath and seemed to struggle with his next words. “I- really care about you Tooru. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me. Whatever it is- we can fix it together.”

He looked at Oikawa his eyes dark and shining with a thin veil of unshed tears.

Oikawa could feel a new stem taking root and blooming rapidly with the warmth that filled his chest at Iwa Chan’s words.

_He noticed. He cares. He called him Tooru._

Oikawa wanted to collapse in Iwaizumi’s arms and spill his guts. Thankfully, he considered himself a master of deception.

“I'm fine Iwa-Chan I told you, I'm just tired. And my throat hurts a little. Maybe I'm coming down with a cold?” He said forcing out a smile.  
 _He wasn't exactly lying- his throat did hurt._

Iwaizumi gave him a look that spoke louder than anything he could say. He knew Oikawa was hiding something. But, thankfully, he didn't push it.

“Thank you for the milk bread Iwa-chan.” He said softly, a genuine smile flashing in his eyes.

“Don't thank me, Uglykawa. Someone has to look after you.” Iwaizumi hummed, ruffling Oikawa's hair.

“AHA! Here you are!” Mattsun exclaimed shattering their delicate moment. Iwaizumi snatched his hand back as if he’d been burned. Oikawa scowled at the intruder.

“Sorry for ruining your flirting,” Matsukawa grinned, not sorry in the least, “but you will not believe what I just saw!” he exclaimed setting his lunch down on Oikawa's table.

“KOUTANI AND YAHABA WERE KISSING IN THE CLUB ROOM!” exclaimed Hanamaki his eyes shining with the joy of a child who discovered chocolate for the first time.  
  


“NOT THE HOLY LAND!” Oikawa shrieked, his annoyance forgotten amidst the gossip. “Can you believe them IWA-CHAN!” he cried.

Iwaizumi had been staring at him with an expression he couldn't place.

“Iwa-chan?”  
He hurriedly looked away, a blush dusting the tops of his ears.  
 _Was he? Was that disgust?  
No. Was he embarrassed?  
What was that expression?_

“Shut up Nosykawa. Let them be.” He said, taking a bit of his lunch.  
“You don't mind them kissing in the clubroom?” he asked, stressing the word ‘them’ more than necessary.  
“They can do whatever they want- its not our business.” He gave oikawa a look of annoyance.   
_Why was he annoyed?_

Oikawa stuck his tongue out at him. “Of course it is. We are the captains.”  
“Ohh! Are you going to tell them off for kissing, oikawa?” Hanamaki asked, wiggling his stupid eyebrows.  
“He’s doing no such thing” Iwaizumi calmly replied.  
“Iwa-chan is not my mom!” oikawa pouted.

"I'll kill you, shitty-kawa!"

"You don't seem too surprised Iwaizumi." Matsukawa said, his eyes sly. 

"That's because I don't care!" He growled.   
  
"Or- maybe you already knew!" Hanamaki guessed, his eyes wide open.   
  
_Had Iwa-chan known? and said nothing to oikawa? Was he disgusted and thats why?_

"Iwa-chan you knew?!" he asked his voice small.  
  
"Ugh. Why cant you guys be this perceptive in Math. I wouldn't have to tutor your dumb-asses then!" He groaned, running his hands through his hair.   
  
"Iwa-chan SPILL!"   
  
"Im not your dog SHITTY KAWA!" He snarled.   
  
"Yea with all that growling you might as well be!"  
  
"TrashyK-"   
  
"FOCUS! GENTLEMEN!" matsukawa clapped his hands.   
  
"Well-" Iwaizumi began awkwardly, "I saw them kissing in the shower rooms, last week,"   
  
"LAST WEEK?" Oikawa shrieked, just as Hanamaki yelled- "NAKED?"   
  
"Wait- hanamaki's question is more important." Matsukawa intervened. 

"NO! NOT NAKED YOU IDIOTS! why am i friends with you all!" Iwaizumi fumed. 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki abandoned their lunches and ran out, probably to find the second years and grill them about their relationship.   
  


"And Yahaba, asked me not to tell anyone, and well- I " he scowled at Oikawa as _he_ had been the one kissing Koutani in the clubroom. He took a deep breath.   
"I was worried, you would think it's weird." He said the distress evident in his face.   
  


"What!?" Oikawa squawked indignantly. "I though you didn't tell me because you were DISGUSTED!"  
  
"Why would I be disgusted idiot?!"   
  
"I don't know - a lot of people are disgusted by this sort of stuff." Oikawa fidgeted with the hem of his jacket, pulling out loose threads.   
  
Iwaizumi slapped his hand. "Stop that you'll ruin it!"   
Oikawa scowled at him.   
  
"Im not disgusted Tooru." He said again, slumping in his chair. "Are you?" He asked nervously.   
  
"No of course not. I don't care about that stuff. Love is love right?" He said, his heart in his throat. 

The atmosphere was thick with tension, both of them wondering how to move forward with this conversation- when suddenly the bell rang for next class.   
  
They jumped at the sound. 

"Well - that's that!" Oikawa said forcing out a grin. "Run- along Iwa-chan! You'll be late!"   
He placed his empty milk bread on top of iwaizumi's lunch. "Throw this on your way out please!" He smiled sickly sweet.  
Iwaizumi smacked his head.   
"Get some sleep at the nurses room, idiot" He said gruffly, gathering hanamaki and Matsukawas forgotten lunch boxes as well.   
  
"Iwa-chan, shall i start calling you mommy?"   
  
Iwaizumi threw his lunch box at his head.

“IWA-CHAN MEAN!”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JUST KISS ALREADY!!! >-<
> 
> The amount of patience I needed to have while writing this fic was insane :) I wanted to skip all the heartbreak and just make them kiss. Sadly, Its not IwaOi without angst! ^-^


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST! 
> 
> Oikawa is an idiot and matsukawa cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an early update for you all!  
> Thank you so much to everyone who read, left kudos, and commented. <3 :(  
> I cried while writing this chapter... :)  
> I hope you all enjoy!  
> sorry in advance for the angst!

Chapter 3

_I'm only a fool for you,_

_And maybe you’re too good for me._

_\- IDFC (blackbear)_

Oikawa realised he had to be more careful if he wanted to hide this thing properly. He had received a ball with his chest and almost passed out. Excusing himself he ran to the bathroom and threw up a bunch of bloodstained leaves and blue flowers into the toilet and dissolved into hacking coughs.

“Oi Captain! are you okay?” Mattsun's voice called from outside the stall. Oikawa could not stop coughing. He pounded at the door.

“Open this door Oikawa!” he yelled. Oikawa burst into another bout of hacking coughs as soon as he opened his mouth to answer Mattsun.

“Thats it! I’m getting Iwaizumi.”

“No!” Oikawa screamed throwing open the bathroom door. He felt blood in his mouth and vomited blue flowers and blood into the toilet bowl.

Mattsun stared at him taking in his tear-stained face and bloodstained shirt, gaping in horror. Oikawa sniffed and smiled at him weakly.

"Guess I'm not immune after all." 

“Oikawa, you fucking moron,” he said his voice thick with emotion as he moved forward to hold his stupid crying friend.

They sat there holding each other one of them softly sobbing and the other not knowing what to say.

When Oikawa had calmed down a little and stopped sniffling, Mattsun cleared his throat and looked down at his captain. “Oikawa- since when?”

Oikawa stayed silent staring at the wall.

“Tooru.”

“Since last Tuesday.” 

“Last Tuesday…” he echoed, his voice suddenly empty. “This-“ his voice cracked. “This has been going for more than a week? Why the hell didn’t you say anything?” he fumed.

“What the fuck would I have said Mattsun? How do u tell someone plants are growing inside you?!” he growled tears stinging his eyes once again. Mattsun had never heard Oikawa sound so broken. Oikawa Tooru was loud and strong and brave. He was their captain. But here he was, sitting on the bathroom floor, a cracked porcelain doll.

Mattsun sank his head into his arms.

“It’s Iwaizumi, isn’t it?”

Oikawa laughed, the sound coming out strange and strangled.

“Who else could it be?”

They sat in silence for a while listening to the sound of Iwaizumi leading practice.

“Well, now Makki owes me 50 bucks.” Matsukawa laughed.

“Huh?”

“ We had a bet on who would realise first, you or Iwaizumi.” He shrugged. “I bet on you so I win.” He grinned.

Oikawa narrowed his eyes at him, “here I am almost dying and you’re talking about a bet. Also why would you even bet on such thing?”

"Why would we not?" Mattsun laughed shoving his shoulder lightly. “So, when are you going to tell him?”

“Don’t be stupid Matsukawa. Iwa-Chan is straight. And so am I!” he snapped.

“Captain are you dumb? “ joked Matsunn and then he glimpsed Oikawa's expression. “Well obviously you aren’t completely straight if you’re in love with Hajime!” he said giving him a confused look.

“Shut the HELL UP Matsukawa!” he yelled, shoving his friend aside, standing up briskly. The world spun around him and Mattsun jerked up steadying him.

“What the fuck, Oikawa. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay-”

“I am NOT GAY! ” he yelled, his chest heaving. His parents' disappointed looks popped up in his head. He imagined Iwaizumi rejecting him.

No. He was not gay.

They glared at each other.

Mattsun sighed turning away from him. “Then what? Are you getting the surgery?” he asked, resignedly.

The surgery. If he got it he’d be fine again. But, he wouldn’t remember Iwaizumi. He wouldn’t remember His Iwa-Chan. Nothing in this world would make him make such a choice. Not even God himself could make him forget Hajime.

“Are you stupid Matsukawa?” he sneered.

“Don’t be fucking rude Tooru!”

“Then don’t ask me stupid stuff! We have Inter highs coming up I need to be here. I can’t forget everything and be in a hospital,” He said sighing.

“Inter-highs? That what you’re worried about? Are you Crazy?” he cried, his eyes tearing up.

Oikawa opened his mouth to speak but Mattsun turned away from him.

“Shut up Oikawa that's not what’s important right now, what is wrong with you!” he screamed.

“I won't forget Hajime!” he bellowed.

“You won’t confess to him. You won’t get the surgery. FUCKING HELL Oikawa are you just planning on dying then?” he screamed, tears slipping down his face.

Oikawa pulled his crying friend into a hug.

“I don’t know,” he whispered his voice breaking.

“You’re such an idiot,” Mattsun said rubbing his eyes and squeezing Oikawa into a hug. Oikawa squeezed him harder even though his chest hurt like hell.

“I’m so scared,” he murmured.

Matsukawa felt like he had been slapped. He never saw Tooru, this vulnerable. He had never heard him admit to being afraid of anything. It broke his heart. Matsukawa kissed his forehead softly wishing he could kiss it and make it all go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *softly sobs in a corner*  
> Iwa-chan kiss it better please.  
> Here is my twitter if you want to come scream at me - @saturnscoochie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa finally has the sense to confide in an adult and drools over iwaizumi's thighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the new chapter!   
> Theres a lot of crying oikawa in this, I'm sorry :(   
> (please listen to Magic by Coldplay while reading this chapter its an experience!) 
> 
> I hope you all like the chapter!   
> Kudos, Comments and Criticism is always appreciated<3

Chapter 4 

_And I just got broken, broken into two._

_Still, I call it magic, when I'm next to you._

_\- Magic (Coldplay)_

Usually, Oikawa and Iwaizumi walked home together seeing they lived right next to each other. But today Oikawa slipped out before Iwaizumi was done showering after practice. He’d asked Mattsun to cover for him who had reluctantly agreed, only when he’d promised that he was going to visit his sister and attempt to figure this out.

He walked to his sisters’ lab, lost deep in thought, trying to figure out how to tell her that he was dying. It seemed like that way his only option because he wouldn’t get the surgery and since Iwa-Chan wasn’t – well he wasn't gay. And even if he was there was no way they could be together. Their families and the world- there was no way.

He reached the university and walked to her lab. She usually didn't have any students around this time. He pushed open the door. His sister was busy examining something under a microscope.

“Nee-chan,” he called.

She jerked her head up; “Tooru!” his sister looked at him her eyes wide with shock taking in his ragged appearance. “What happened to you?” She

Exclaimed, abandoning her work, running to give him a hug.

“Hey” he muttered softly into her shoulder.

Felling his sisters comforting presence all around him, all the despair he'd been holding inside him broke out in tidal waves. He finally allowed himself to feel sorry for himself. Once he started crying, the tears wouldn't stop coming.   
  
_Why am i still crying? I cried with Mattsukawa today, but theres still so much hurt._   
  
"Please make it stop nee-chan. Please," he sobbed  
"Tooru baby, what's wrong? tell me," she said rubbing his back, bewildered, seeing her usually strong brother crumple. 

"Nee-chan, Im in love with Iwa-chan and I think I'm going to die..." He spilled.

Three hours later they were sitting in the back of the room nestled close, his sister softly caressing his hair.

“Do you know what flowers these are?” he asked reaching into his pocket and pulling out the little blue flower. She took it from him and inspected it.

“ _Myosotis Arvensis.”_ She whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

Tooru looked at her confused. She took a deep breath.

“Forget-me-not.”

Tooru chuckled. “How fitting.”

She took the rest of the day off even though he had insisted that he’d be able to walk home just fine. She had glared at him while ordering a cab.

“The house is just a 20-minute walk” he’d whined. “Give me the cab money I’ll use it well!” he’d joked earning him a light smack to the head.

“You’d just buy that stupid milk bread idiot.”

“Wow Nee-Chan, be nice to me I’m dying!” he’d joked earning himself a kick.

He stepped into his room ready to collapse into bed and was greeted by an Iwaizumi lying on his bed, wearing shorts and a wife-beater, flipping through one of Tooru's alien manga’s.

Tooru had to physically restraint himself from drooling over his biceps. His shirt had hitched up a little and Tooru glimpsed his abs.

“What are you looking at Shittykawa!?” Iwaizumi frowned his face flushing and red creeping up his neck.

“I was just thinking even though you're ugly, maybe you're not completely hopeless after all.” He said running his hands up Iwaizumi's’ toned legs.

“Flattykawa! IdiotKawa!” Iwaizumi sputtered, his heart racing because _Oikawa_ _was touching his thighs._ He smacked Oikawa’s flirty invasive beautiful hands away with the manga.

“Meanie Iwa-chan I take it back. No matter how hot you are, no girl should have to bear with your terrible personality, you grouch!” he whined, flopping down next to him.

“I'm leaving now!” he scowled getting off the bed.

“No, wait!” Oikawa grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down, snuggling against him.

Iwaizumi huffed against him. “Where were you? You left early.”

“Aww Iwa-chan did you miss me?” he crowed.

“Shut up IdiotKawa. You left without saying anything.” He muttered sitting up so Oikawa could lie down. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Aww, Iwa Chan you care!” Oikawa exclaimed said his arms around Iwaizumi's torso and pulling him down next to him.

“Of course I care idiot,” he muttered caressing the pale boy's hair. He looked extremely worn out and it was driving him crazy not knowing what it was that was causing his best friend so much trouble.

Tooru melted under his touch his chest clenching as he felt more flowers blossoming.

Being next to Hajime always made him feel so safe and loved.

“I could never forget you,” he whispered against his chest.

“Huh? You wouldn’t be able to last a day without me you brat.” huffed Iwaizumi, his voice bursting with mirth.

“I would be able to. But that wouldn’t be living. It would just be existing,” he mumbled before he could stop himself, his eyes filling up with tears.

Iwaizumi’s heart clenched in pain and longing. He pulled the boy closer to himself.

“You won't have to be without me. Ever.” He whispered into Oikawas hair. "Stop thinking of weird stuff, idiot."

He held him as Oikawa softly cried into his chest.

_I have to tell him,_ thought Oikawa.

His sister had pointed out that he had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Knowing Iwaizumi he’d at least try to love Oikawa the way he needed him to. And if he didn’t, well Oikawa was dying anyway.

He breathed in Iwaizumi’s scent and allowed himself to hope.

_Tomorrow_ , he decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KISS HIM IWAIZUMI! KISS THE BOY SHA-LA-LA JUST KISS THE BOY!
> 
> (Sobs violently into my oikawa plush.)
> 
> Also, here is my twitter - @saturnscoochie - if you want to scream about iwaoi together! :3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi is a nerd and Oikawa giggles a lot.  
> Like, seriously a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some iwaoi fluff to make up for all the angst in the past (and coming) chapters ^-^
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who comments, leaves kudos 💙   
> It means so much to me to know and see that you all are enjoying the story 💙😭🥺

_Up, down, all around_

_Turn my stomach upside down_

_\- Upside down (Jvke)_

.

Oikawa spent the rest of the afternoon, through the evening trying to convince Iwaizumi that he was fine. Which was very hard considering Iwaizumi is a walking lie detector.

“So what is this?” Iwaizumi had demanded, “You always used to beg me to sleepover, and now you want me gone?” If Tooru were anyone else he’d think Iwaizumi was joking. But thankfully, he was the person who knew Iwaizumi best. And he knew that Iwaizumi was hurt.

“You know that's not it Iwa-chan” he pouted, “You have that chemistry quiz tomorrow. I'm just trying to make sure you study and get awesome grades.”

“Yeah right. Remember my math exam last month and how you made me come to watch that stupid alien movie with you?”

“Iwa-chan! I only dragged you because you're already good at math!” he whined in protest.

“Yea right Selfishkawa.”

“Iwa chaaan”

“I know you're hiding something.” He’d said, his face blank, his mouth set into a grim line.

Oikawa had sighed. “Tomorrow Iwa-chan.” He’d promised.

“Okay. I'm waiting for you.” He whispered. And, before Oikawa could process how close he was, Iwaizumi pressed a soft kiss to his temple.

“Goodnight Shittykawa.” He muttered, his ears red and his eyes filled with an emotion Tooru had never seen on him before.

Then, he was gone.  
Oikawa sighed against the door and broke into a grin.

_Maybe-_

“Tooru.” His mom called, from the hallway.

“Yes?” He turned around, forcing his face to remain neutral.

She was giving him an odd look, her face furrowed in confusion. He caught her looking at him like that sometimes- her eyebrows crinkled, and her mouth pursed, but he didn't know what it meant.

She cleared her throat, “Its cold, shut the door and come have dinner.”

Tooru shut his door, and stood in front of his mirror.  
“Well what are you grinning at, alien-chan.” He giggled at himself.  
His face was dusted pink, his eyes almost sparkling.

He traced his fingers across his temple, recalling the feeling of Iwaizumi’s chapped lips _. I should give him some lip balm tomorrow,_ he thought. And giggled to himself again.

“Stop giggling alien-chan” he whispered at the mirror.

He looked so much more alive than he did the past whole week.

He flopped onto his bed, cuddling with Jimmy, his hedgehog plushy, (a gift from Makki that he’d named Jimmy cause Ha-jime.)

  
_Maybe, just maybe, Iwa-chan could like me back?_ He wondered

_Maybe he’d be open to he idea? Why else would he kiss him like that? Why would he blush? He was blushing, right? His ears were red!_

Tooru had never seen Iwaizumi blush for him. It made the ache in his chest lighter. Bearable. Something fluttered in his stomach. It seems Tooru's garden of flowers had invited butterflies.

He pressed his face into Jimmy to stop himself from giggling.

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ ** ****

**_Are you awake? .-._ **

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ **

**_Why aren’t you asleep dumbass?  
  
_ **

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ **

**_YOU ARE THE DUMBASS!!! : < :< :<_ **

****

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ **

**_(Also why are you awake?)_ **

****

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ **

**** **_Chem test tomorrow -.-_ **

Iwaizumi had been pulling loads of all-nighters this year, to study for quizzes and tests. While oikawa was the type of person who hardly needed to study for a good grade, Iwaizumi was the type of person who needed to work really hard to excel at academics. It wasn't that he wasn't smart- he was great at math and physics and English (surprisingly). But science and arts related subjects weren’t really his forte.  
Oikawa fondly recalled the time when he had been teasing him about working his brain super hard and Iwaizumi had just scoffed at him and said, “Well, you've already been scouted by Tokyo national university,” and oikawa being the idiot he is had replied asking what the had to do with anything. Iwaizumi had flushed and turned his face away from him, “well, if I want to go with you, I need to get an awesome grade on the entrance exams.” He had replied as if it were the most natural thing in the world, that Iwaizumi would follow him to Tokyo.

Oikawa felt flowers tickling his throat even though he had just trimmed them an hour ago.

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ **

**_Oh yea! @_@_ **

****

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ ** ****

**_What period?_ **

****

****

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ **

**_Last._ **

****

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ **

**_Ohhhhhhhh._ **

**_Good Luck Iwa-Chan!!! \\*^*/  
  
_ **

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ ** ****

**_Go to sleep.  
  
_ **

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ **

**_Don't stay up too late, Iwa-chan._ **

**_You’ll ace this test dw! \^0^/_ **

****

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ **

**_Ofc I will. I'm not a dumbass like you._ **

**_  
From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ ** ****

**_MEANIE IWA-CHAN!!! >.< _ **

****

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ ** ****

**_Good night Tooru._ **

****

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ ** ****

**_Send me a heart with it!!!!_ **

****

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ ** ****

**_IdiotKawa!_ **

****

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ ** ****

**_:((((((((((((_ **

****

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ ** ****

**_Good night Tooru <3_ **

****

**_From: Grand King_ **

**_To: Iwa-chan_ ** ****

**_Goodnight Iwa-chan! <3 <3 <3  
_ **

He smiled to himself, hopeful about tomorrow.  
_I’ll tell him in the evening after the test! I’ll take him out to Ice Cream!!!_ He decided.

_We are going to take Iwa-chan out on a date_! His mind exclaimed.

Forget-me-nots stained his chest blue as Oikawa giggled himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *squeals into my pillow* IWAOI KISS!!! IWAOI TEXT HEARTS!!! IWAOI DATE!!! *cries in happy*
> 
> also, im sorry this chapter is so short :( I wanted to write something soft and fluffy hehe. 
> 
> Come follow me on twitter - @Saturnscoochie, if you wanna scream about iwaoi together <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !!! Trigger warning - Homophobia !!!  
> The one where Iwaizumi conspires with the coaches to get Oikawa an off day and the is stood up on the "date."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If homophobia and homophobic family dynamics trigger you, please be careful navigating this chapter :( 
> 
> Once again i really appreciate all the kudos and comments. They mean so much to me!  
> Really really grateful to @yuki_chicken and @fuzzy_brained23 for the regular comments. You guys always make my day <3

_I wanna be a 10/10 for you, hit it out of the park._

_And I wanna be an amen to you when you're falling apart._

_-10/10 (Troye Sivan)_

Oikawa woke up with his breath tangled up in nimble flowering branches.  
Nobody really talks about how terrifying suffocating is. By some miracle he managed to drag himself to the bathroom, and pulled out branches of flowers – his throat scratched raw. He gagged on the stems and threw up flowers into the toilet bowl.

_Gross._

Oikawa hated vomiting. It made him cry and feel powerless.

He heaved in deep breaths. _Aren’t plants supposed to produce oxygen? Why were these flowers stealing his breath instead?_

He spent an hour cleaning up the blood, flowers and disgusting fluids, and finally made his way back to his room.

The clock read 4:43 AM.

He picked up his phone and googled – ‘Hanahaki disease.’  
Most of the results were scientific articles that Oikawa wasn't really interested in. He’d read all of them when he found the first petal. He could recite ‘The progression and symptoms of Hanahaki Disease’ by heart at this point.  
He was looking for stories about the disease. Specifically about same-sex lovers.

He felt jittery looking for them. It felt like admitting to himself that he might actually be gay. It would also be a problem if his parents decided to check the Internet history and found Lgbtq+ stories.

He didn't have any problem with other gay people. But being gay himself was a different story.  
  


_Well, Iwa-chan is the only guy I've liked,_ He thought. _And I liked that really busty 3 rd year. And there was Satou-chan from Yahaba’s class.  
Maybe I’m bisexual?_

“Ugh, this sucks!” he muttered, pushing his phone away. T  
The government had legalized Lgbtq+ marriages last year due to the Hanahaki disease.

He remembered how his dad had switched off the TV, in disgust muttering how they were putting ‘ideas’ into youngsters’ heads.

He gave up on trying to go back to sleep and started getting ready for school. The butterflies in his stomach started hurricanes when he thought about seeing Iwaizumi. He put special care into his hair even though he knew he’d be coming home to get dressed again for ice cream.

_I'm going to make Iwa-chan get all dressed up!_ He sniggered.

“Tooru! Iwaizumi-San is here!” His mom called.  
“Coming!” He grabbed his shoes and ran downstairs.  
  
Iwaizumi was sitting at the kitchen counter having tea and chatting with his mom. He looked beautiful illuminated by the sunlight filtering in through the kitchen windows, Oikawa couldn’t help but smile.  
“Iwa- chan good morning!” He called ruffling his already messy hair. “Did you grow shorter last night?”  
Iwaizumi growled at him as he laughed.  
“Tooru! Stop teasing the poor boy!” His mom scolded, placing his lunch on the counter.  
“But that's no fun, Mom!” He giggled.  
“Lets go Iwa-Chan!” He grabbed his hand and they walked out one teasing and the other grumbling, oblivious to Oikawas mothers suspicious stare.

“So will you tell me now?” Iwaizumi asked, chewing on an apple, as they walked to school.  
“Iwa chan you heathen! Don't speak with food in your mouth.”  
“Prissy-Kawa.”  
“Meanie Iwa-chan!”  
Iwaizumi growled at him.  
“Sheesh okay! Iwa-chan no wonder you and Mad-dog chan get along so well!” He said, sticking his tongue out at him.  
“Shut up Oikawa. Come on, what is it?”  
“I’ll tell you today evening.” He said suddenly bashful.  
_This is stupid! Stop being shy!_ He mentally scolded himself.  
  


Iwaizumi started to protest,  
“Patience Iwa-chan! Its good for you!” He yelled running ahead, ignoring the pain in his chest.  
“Oikawa DON'T RUN!”  
“Meet me at the BR near your house at 5!” He called running into the school building.  
“OI!!!”

“Oh! And Wear something nice Iwa-Chan!“

He heard him cussing him out and laughed. His heart was full of flowers and his lungs burned. His throat was scratched raw but he didn't care.

_A date with Iwa-chan,_ he thought gleefully as his chest seized in pain.

He spent the entire day napping in the nurses’ office. During lunch Iwaizumi had popped in and studied next to him as he snoozed.

“Hey don't come for practice today.” He said, frowning at his notes as if they had done something to personally offend him.  
“Iwa- Chan how could you even suggest such a thing! I'm the captain- its blasphemy for me to not show up.”  
“Coaches orders Shittykawa.”  
“WHAT!”  
“He said you've been way too exhausted and I agree.”  
“So mean Iwa-Chan. You are all ganging up on me.” He pouted.  
“Don't be dramatic, idiot.” Iwaizumi reached down and ruffled his hair.

Oikawa blushed.

Even though this was so normal for them, he couldn't help himself.

“Iwa-chan don't mess up my hair,” he whined but made no move to pull away.  
Iwaizumi threw his head back, laughing at the redness on Oikawas face.  
“You’re an idiot, Tooru.” He chuckled.

Tooru, walked home alone, since Iwaizumi was supposed to lead practice today. He didn't mind though. The thought of confessing had caused the butterflies in his stomach to riot.

_Maybe it’s not the best idea?_ He wondered. _No. Come on. Nothing to lose, remember.  
  
_

His stomach did a few flip-flops.

_What if he hates us? What if we ruin everything?_

_We wont. Iwa-Chan is our best friend._

He kicked a plastic bottle all the way home.  
  


_It will be fine._

“I'm home!” he called, even though he knew nobody would be at home at this time.  
  


“Tooru?” His mom’s voice replied from upstairs.  
  


“Mom?” he walked up the stairs and found her sitting on his bed, her face tear streaked and his room a mess.  
  


“Mom what the hell,” his cupboard was open his clothes completely jumbled up. “Were you going through my stuff?“ He stared at her in horror.  
  


“Tooru I was so worried!” She sobbed.  
“What?” For a minute he was scared his sister had told her.  
  


_She promised not to!_

“Mom what are you talking about?” He asked cautiously.  
She threw her arms around him. 

“I was so worried with all that touching and holding hands and then the kiss and just- oh Tooru! I was worried what I’d find!”

  
_What is she talking about?_ He stared bewildered.  
  


“Mom I don't understand,” He whispered pulling away from her so she wouldn't feel his hands shaking. He still needed to trim the flowers that had blossomed during school.  
  


“IWAIZUMI!” She snapped.  
  


_Oh._

“I saw him kiss you yesterday. And today morning with the holding hands, I was so worried, you were-“ She steadied herself, taking a deep breath. “I was so worried you were gay.” She whispered, her face full of disgust.

Tooru felt his heart freeze. He tried to speak but all his words withered on his tongue. “Mom we’re just best friends.” He whispered, feeling flower stems scratch his throat, punishing him for his lies.  
  


His mom pulled him close to her. “I know Tooru- but you're both adults now. You cant so casually touch anymore.” She said shaking her head. “Ms. Honda from next door asked me if you two were dating! Can you believe it?!” She shrieked.  
  


_He wanted to throw up._  
  


“Of course I told her no. But people, will get the wrong idea, and we cant have that Tooru.” She said, caressing his hair.

_Iwa-chan had ruffled it today. She was already erasing him._

“I'm so glad you are not- like that.” She whispered, kissing his temple.  
  


_Iwa-chan had kissed him there. She was erasing him._

_“Like-that”_

Tooru couldn't help the sob that escaped his lips. “I'm sorry.” He whispered.  
  
“Its okay honey. You’re such a handsome boy. I'm so excited for your girlfriend.” She whispered rubbing his back.  
  


_I don't want a girl friend. I want Iwa-chan._

He sobbed into her chest, wishing it was not her. Wishing it were the boy he couldn't have.

After he’d calmed down a little, his mom went down to prepare for dinner.  
  
“I’ll just nap for a bit, mom,” He told her. “I'm kind of tired because of all that crying” he joked.

Her eyes softened. “Its okay baby, Rest up! I’ll wake you for dinner” She smiled and shut his door.

Hey lay down on his bed and checked his phone. His phone flashed the time - 5:15 as if mocking him.

_5 missed calls from Iwa-Chan._

**_From: Iwa-chan_ **

**_To: Grand king_ **

(5:04)

Where are you Shittykawa?  
(5:07)

Dude -.-  
(5:10)

Are you standing me up idiot?

(5:13)

Oikawa are you okay?  
(5:14)

Tooru.

(5:16)

Tooru I'm coming over.

_No. No. No._

_Not day._

Tooru couldn't breathe. He tried to text back, to tell him _No, don't come._ But his hands wouldn't stop shaking. His phone started ringing.

_Iwa-chan._

He felt like someone had ducked his head underwater. Everything was slowed and far away.

He tried to stand but his body wouldn't cooperate with him.  
“Mom” he called, but all that came out was a strangled noise. He fell off his bed, and his upper body erupted in agony.

He tried shouting for help but his throat was overrun with forget-me-nots, struggling to reach out of his body, towards the sun they bloomed for.

_I'm going to die,_ he realised.

He tried fighting the pain and the darkness descending all around him.

Tooru had always joked that he and Hajime had a telepathic connection.

_I'm sorry, Iwa-chan_ , He thought, some desperate part of him hoping Iwaizumi was listening.

‘ _I love you! I love you I love you I love you’_ he screamed in his mind. He had never broken a promise to Iwaizumi. But it looked like he was about to…

‘ _Don’t forget me’_ he thought desperately before the darkness engulfed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -And my heart is actually broken and I'm going to spend the next two days curled up in my bed sobbing.


	7. chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they both cry a lot, and oikawa (kind-of) comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for following this story with me!  
> Thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments and shared it.  
> This story and you all mean so much to me! 
> 
> Writing this chapter was kind of hard- but i hope you enjoy it!  
> Well- as much as you can enjoy crying iwaizumi....

_If I can't have you_

_I’d rather be alone._

_\- Falling in love at a coffee shop (Landon Pigg)_

Oikawa was floundering in darkness.  
Somewhere, far away was a loud and insistent beeping.

_Am I dead?_

He frowned at the annoying sound. _  
This is probably what Iwa-chan means when he says I’m whiny,_ He thought absently, trying to return to the blissful nothingness he had a few moments ago.  
  
He heard someone call his name repeatedly. He tried to get up to find the source but he couldn't see anything. He couldn't even move.

 _Dying is annoying,_ he decided, anxiety slowly but surely, filling his chest.

“Shittykawa don't you dare leave me!” somebody whimpered.

 _Only Iwa-chan calls me that!_ He thought irritated at the voice.

_Iwa-chan._

_Oh._

“Get up... Get up, Tooru Please.”

_._

_I have to go back;_  
He desperately thrashed against the darkness around him, trying to get his body to move. A sudden pain flooded his entire body and he welcomed it. If he felt pain, it meant he was alive. It meant he could back to Hajime.

The ache in his chest dulled down a little, his body getting used to it. He groaned slowly opening his eyes, shifting to try and sit up in bed.

All at once, he was hyper-aware. This was not his bed. His bed had an alien comforter (a joke birthday gift from his team that he ended up loving more than his actual gift.) He was surrounded by an overly clean alcohol smell and he realised he was in the hospital.

Tooru hated hospitals.

For a moment he was seized with panic, as he flash-backed to the time he hurt his knee. He looked around wildly, but all he could see was stark white.

“Oi- Tooru.”

 _Iwa_ - _chan!_

“Relax. It’s okay.”

He found himself pulled into a warm desperate hug, surrounded by Iwaizumi’s signature smell of Pears soap and deodorant. “I'm here now, it’s okay.” He murmured into his hair.

_There you are._

He felt the panic in his chest subside slowly, his heartbeat coming back down.

He pulled out of the hug, wincing at the sudden pain that seemed to flare with every movement.

“Wat-“ He was handed a cup before he even finished asking for it. He sipped the cool liquid, slowly regaining his composure.

Finally, he allowed himself to look up at Iwaizumi.

To say he looked a mess would be an understatement. There were bags under his red-rimmed eyes and his hair was sticking out more than usual. He was wearing his ugly green dinosaur pajama pants – a gift from Hanamaki. Even in this absurd setting, he had to stifle the urge to laugh. Iwaizumi never left the house without wearing proper clothes.

He cleared his throat. “Iwa Chan if you wanted to wear pyjamas at least you could wear the cute bear ones I bought you, instead of this hideous vomit coloured thing. How can you expect me to hang out with someone who has no sense of fashion?” He said in his most annoying voice, plastering on his best fake smile.

Iwaizumi stared at him, his eyes flashing between affection and bloody murder.

“Tooru. What. The. Fuck.”

“Tsk tsk language Iwa-chan.”

“Don’t,” He yelled, slamming his hands on the bed. Oikawa winced at the raw emotion in his voice. Iwaizumi got annoyed at him, sure. But, he never yelled at this. He never got carried away like this.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath. “Don't fucking test me right now.” He whispered, his voice even and eyes hard.

Oikawa's sister came running into the room, probably because of Iwaizumi’s shouting.

“YOU'RE AWAKE!” Tears of relief dripped down her cheeks. She too, looked an absolute mess.

Tooru could feel the guilt churning in his stomach like wet cement.

“Oh god, Tooru! Fucking hell. Oh god.” She whimpered pulling him into a hug and crying into his hair. He put his arms around awkwardly patting her back trying his best not to cry with her.

“ I have to - I’ll go I have to go get the doctors and mom and dad,” she said, moving away from him.

“No- Nee-chan, I’ll-“ Iwaizumi cleared his throat, “I’ll go get the doctor and your parents, stay here with this idiot till then please.” He said excusing himself.

“Thank you, Hajime.” She called after him, pulling Tooru back into her arms as if she were afraid that he would disappear.

The rest of the afternoon passed with the doctors running x-rays and scans, and avoiding his parents' insistent questions of who it was that had their son in this state.

Oikawa didn’t know what to tell them. He didn’t know where to start. His parents were strict and as conservative as they came. And after last night, with his mom, how could he tell them that he was in love with a boy?

They’d make him have that stupid surgery and his mind was made on that subject.

He’d rather **_die_** than forget Hajime.

Iwaizumi hovered in the background throughout the afternoon, saying nothing, but his presence was enough for Oikawa. Just knowing he was there made him feel safe while at the same time caused his heart to beat at 10 times its normal pace.

His parents had gone home to get Oikawa a few clothes since he had been asked to stay at the hospital for a few days for monitoring. Iwaizumi sat silently in one corner of the room, till they were both alone. After everyone left He pulled his chair up to Oikawa's bedside, and sat there with his arms crossed, waiting for Oikawa to say something.

They both sat in a heavy silence, which was so unusual for them. They never had awkward or heavy silences. Only comfortable ones.

After a few minutes, Iwaizumi scowled. Oikawa again had to repress an urge to giggle. He had always been the more patient one.

“So. Are you going to say anything?” He asked, his voice rough with disuse.

Oikawa stayed silent.

“Oikawa.”

He played with his fingers refusing to look at his best friend.

“Tooru. Please.” He choked.

He finally looked up and found tears spilling out of Iwaizumi’s eyes.

“Don’t cry, Iwa Chan. You're an ugly crier.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood,

“Tooru, you’re- you fuck you Tooru.” Iwaizumi buried his head in his palms, his shoulders shaking with the effort to not fall completely apart.

Oikawa started at this stuttering stumbling Iwaizumi, who was nothing like his confident and grumpy Iwa-chan.

_I broke him._

“Is this what you were going to tell me? You’ve been sick for weeks and you were going to tell me now? After a whole week?” He yelled, his voice full of grief.

“I'm sorry, Iwa-chan. I just- I didn't know how.” Tooru cried, pulling Iwaizumi’s hands in his own, trying his best to hold them both together. 

“Please Tooru. Tell me. How I can help you. Please.” He whispered, looking up at him and Oikawa had never felt his 5 centimeters of height difference more.

"Im begging you Tooru," he sobbed

Oikawa felt flowers blooming with life in his chest, sharply in contrast with his dying heart.

“It’s no use Iwa-chan. He doesn’t like me.” he whimpered, trying his best not to cry.  
And failing. 

“Tooru are you crazy? There’s no girl who you can not woo. Come on te- wait. He?” Iwaizumi stared at him, his eyes wide with shock, tears frozen on his eyelashes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muahahaha - Cliffhanger!!!
> 
> Just kidding- i am also currently crying like most of you guys :)
> 
> Here is my twitter, if you want to scream at me! @saturnscoochie.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with lots of crying and lots of fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!   
> This chapter is actually one of favourites, i think.  
> I really tried to make this as soft and fluffy as possible.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as i liked writing it!  
> And a big hug of appreciation, to all of you who comment and leave kudos. It means so much to me!

_Darling without you,_

_All the shine from a thousand spotlights, all the stars we steal from the night sky_

_Will never be enough._

_\- Never Enough (Loren Allred)_

Tooru gave Iwaizumi an empty smile.

They’d never really talked about their sexualities or anything, so he’d been expecting this kind of reaction.

“I know its disgusting and weird you don’t have to tell me.” He laughed, his voice hollow.

Iwaizumi stared at him bewildered.

“Why would it be disgusting?! Stupidkawa that’s not what I meant I’m just surprised!” He growled, his fists clenched. His eyes were open and honest and Oikawa could see his brain overworking itself trying to comprehend what was happening.

“Aww, Iwa Chan don’t tire out your last 2 brain cells. You need them next month for the Inter Highs." he flashed him a pained smile, "Since you might get made captain.”

“Shut up IdiotKawa. Thats not fucking funny!” he barked, crossing his arms across his chest. "God! I need to physically restrain myself from hitting you, dumbass!"

Oikawa couldn't stop himself from laughing at the scene in front of him. In all their 18 years of existence, Iwaizumi had never hesitated to smack him upside down in the head but hear he was- crossing his arms so that he would hit him!  
  


"Iwa-Chan! Look at you evolving into a civilised human!" He giggled. Oikawa would never be able to fathom, how he could sit here and laugh so much when he was literally dying. 

_The Iwaizumi Effect._ He mused.

Iwaizumi scowled, but there was a smile playing in the shadows of his lips. "You're so stupid Tooru," He whispered affectionately, leaning back in the chair. “So, tell me his name - we can try to convince him to give your flat ass a chance.” He said rubbing his eyes.

Oikawa stared at his stupid best friend.

“Iwa Chan are you insane?” He asked incredulously.

Iwaizumi smacked his head.   
_Softly_. 

“Then what?" He snapped. "You’re adamant about the stupid surgery so this is our only option.” 

_Our option._

“Iwa-Chan - I-“

“Wait Shittykawa- have you even told this guy you like him? Or are you just assuming?” He asked suddenly as if he’d just realised that Oikawa probably hadn’t confessed.

“Well...”

“IDIOT! What’s his name! Tell me I’ll bring him here right now!” Iwaizumi jumped out of his chair, fired up.

“Iwa-chan sit down.”

“Tooru- there’s still a way to save you and I'll be damned if I don't grab it!” he growled, his eyes wild with hope.

Oikawa had never hated himself more.

“Iwa-chan. This guy is straight. For fucks sake.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“100%?”

“97%!”

“There’s still a three percent chance. Oikawa who is it? Come on!”

“Let it go Hajime!” He snapped, a sharp pain shooting up in his throat.

For a few minutes, there was silence. And then, Iwaizumi had Oikawa wrapped in a bear hug.

“Please Tooru. I can’t lose you.” He whispered in his hair, his voice thick with tears.

"Im sorry Iwa-chan."   
  


"Don't! Tooru Please don't." He cried his shoulders shaking. 

They stayed like that for a while, Iwaizumi eventually climbing into the tiny hospital bed with him, not letting go even though his arm was awkwardly wedged under Oikawa’s head.

Tooru wanted to stay this way forever, wrapped in Hajime's arms, breathing him in.

“Tooru.” He looked up to meet Iwaizumi’s eyes.

He saw so much hurt and heartbreak in them he couldn’t bear it. He looked away, burying his head in Iwaizumi's chest.

“If he were to reject me. It would ruin everything.” He whispered.

“There’s nothing that can be worse than this Oikawa.”

“There could be. There will be. I’d lose everything.”

“Is he on the team?”

Oikawa nodded.

"Is it Koutani?" He asked, his voice shaking with laughter.

"Iwa-chan! Don't even joke!!" Oikawa gasped indignantly. 

"You seem like you'd like _'the can't be tamed'_ kind of boys." He snickered. 

"Well, it would be fun to _tame_ them." he said waggling his eye brows at iwaizumi. 

Again he was met with a light head smack. "You just want to cosplay as a dominatrix."

"Iwa-chan, I _am_ a dominatrix." 

"Okay, what ever you say," He bent down and whispered into oikawa's ear, in a low gravely voice  
" _Bottom_." 

Oikawa felt shivers run down his spine. 

_This is an absurd situation to get turned on in._

"I am shocked that you would even suggest such a thing!" he said using his most affronted voice. 

As he had predicted, it broke the delicate tense mood. 

Iwaizumi laughed, pulling oikawa closer to him, placing his chin on his head. "Hospitals are so cold." He whispered.

But Oikawa had never felt this warm. 

“Well, anyway, If whoever he is, says no - you can get the surgery Oikawa.” he hummed. 

“No - Iwa-“

Iwaizumi placed his hand on his lips.

“Let me finish.” He took a deep breath.

“We can move schools and play with a different team. I know it’s the third year, but you’re a great setter and I am Seijoh’s ace.”

Oikawa stilled.

“What? We?” He asked his voice small and disbelieving.

“Of course. I wouldn’t let you go alone stupid.” He smiled, rubbing Oikawa's hair. “Besides someone needs to look after your dumbass.” He laughed.

Something ripped inside his chest at those words. All the feelings he’d been trying to barricade burst out of him. He loudly sobbed into Iwaizumi's chest, shaking with every breath. And Iwaizumi held him through the whole ordeal, pressing soft kisses and whispering, “it’s Okays” into his hair.

“Shall I get you some banana milk?” Iwaizumi asked as Tooru quieted down and was sniffling.

“No.”

“Let me get you some water then.”

“No! Iwa-chan please.” He took a small pained breath. “Just stay.”

And so Iwaizumi stayed as Oikawa finally drifted off into a dream that looked just like this except all of this went beyond just friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sobs in soft iwaoi*  
> How are they NOT BOYFRIENDS YET!?
> 
> Again, i love reading all of your opinions and comments, and i appreciate them so much!  
> Thank you so much to all of you!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where MatsuHana expose how the team considers Iwaoi their parents and Iwaizumi doesn't really mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favourite chapters hehe!   
> I hope you all enjoy it! 
> 
> Its almost over... just one more chapter left :(   
> I hope you all enjoyed reading this fic as much as i loved writing it. Thank you all for sticking with me and the story. Thank you for all the comments and kudos. I love and cherish each and everyone of you! 
> 
> Sappy time is over! I hope you enjoy the chapter! <3

_Thought by now I would be dying_

_But your love gives me all my air._

_\- In too deep (why don't we)_

Oikawa woke up to the sound of hushed whispers. He hadn’t slept as well as his little nap all week. He sat up quickly annoyed that Iwaizumi was not in bed with him.

“So, finally awake, princess?” Hanamaki said loudly.

“Look we bought you milk bread!” Exclaimed Mattsun and dropped at least a dozen pieces of strawberry and chocolate flavoured milk bread into his lap.

“Where’s Iwa Chan?” He asked ripping open one of the packets.

"Hi! nice to see you too Captain. I'm fine thank you! how are you?" Makki replied cheerily, stealing on of the strawberry milk-breads.   
  
Oikawa stuck his tongue out at him.

"Ew captain at least swallow your food before showing me your have chewed food!" He exclaimed, making exaggerated puking gestures.

“He just went to the bathroom, Cap” Mattsun said, stealing one of the chocolate ones.

“I thought they were for me!” he whined swatting at his friend. 

“I think you should confess to him, captain,” Mattsun said ignoring him and pushing Oikawa to the side and snuggling next to him.

“Yep it’s obvious he’s so in love. Plus everyone on the team ships you guys anyway.” Makki said with a mouthful of bread.

“Disgusting Makki. Don’t speak with your mouthful.” Oikawa chided. 

"Ha ironical seeing as just two minutes ago i had to see a tongue coated with have chewed milk bread!"   
  
“Also, What do you mean everyone ships us?”

They both laughed. “Well, it's like- you're our parents you know?” Mattsun stated, as if it were an established fact. 

“That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!" He exclaimed. "But, Am I the mom or the dad?”

"Huh?" 

“Am I the mom or the dad?”

“Is that what you care about?” Mattsun smacked Oikawa on the head.

“Hey! I'm SICK!” he whined poking mattsun in the ribs.

“Stop avoiding the main issue here, captain. Mattsun told me everything.” Makki said trying o crawl into the bed as well.

"Hey this is a single bed you clingy fucks!! get off!" Oikawa complained pushing makki off. “Also you Traitor!” He scowled trying to pushi mattsun off as well.

“Well we can’t let you die, captain. We still need to defeat Ushijima.” Mattsun replied just clinging to oikawa harder. 

“Ew, don’t mention his name here”

Makki snorted. “You’re such a princess captain. I’m sure Iwaizumi-San wouldn’t refuse you. It will be like one of those princessxbodygaurd stories” he laughed. 

“Shut up!!! He could hear you!”

“I hope he does so we can get this over with!” Matsunn grumbled, loosening his hold slightly so he could adjust the pillow, (read pull it towards himself.)

Oikawa pushed him off the bed.

“HEY!” He called indignantly, rubbing his head.

“Stop making such a racket. I was gone for like 5 minutes!” Iwaizumi scolded, walking into the room, with a few juice boxes and Oikawa's favorite banana milk.

“Iwa-chan! You bought me Banana milk!”

“Don’t eat all those milk bread at once Shittykawa.” He said, poking in the straw and passing him the juice box.

“Aww Iwaizumi San is such a caring husband!” Mattsun teased his eyes screaming payback.

Oikawa tensed and looked up at Iwaizumi, but he seemed to be unaffected. He just smacked Mattsun on the head and sat down next to him.

“Hey Hajime, did you know everyone in the team thinks you both are married?”

“Yea,”

“WHAT? Iwa-chan, you knew and you didn't tell me?!” Oikawa screeched.

“It's not that big of a deal, Asskawa.” He said, taking a sip from his juice box.

_Iwaizumi… didn't think it was a big deal that everyone thought they were married?_ Oikawa wondered, incredulously.

“How did you find out!” Mattsun asked eagerly.

“Kindaichi called me dad, during practice last Friday.” He scowled.

The whole room burst into laughter.

His irregular heartbeat slowly settled down as he joked around with his friends.

4 (terrible) games of UNO and 3 boxes of pizza later, Makki and Mattsun (finally) got kicked out by the nurses. They left promising to come back the next day with more games and a movie. 

“It’s time to see the doctor Oikawa-San.” The nurse gestured for him to get into the wheelchair.

“I can walk just fine.” He grumbled, ignoring the stabs of pain any movement caused him.

“Shut up Oikawa,” Hajime said grabbing the wheelchair handles from the nurse. “I’ll push him. Let’s go.”

“Umm sir, only family members are allowed in the consulting room.” She stated awkwardly.

“It’s okay miss. Iwa Chan is family.” Replied Tooru softly looking up at his best friend.

Plus he wouldn’t be able to sit there alone.

His sister had gone home because she hadn’t been able to find a babysitter for Takeru and Hajime had already told both their parents that he would be the one staying with Oikawa at the hospital.

Oikawa’s mom had given him some uneasy, unreadable looks, but they all knew that Iwaizumi wouldn't leave Oikawa's side.

Even when he’d injured his knee, Iwaizumi had fought with everyone, including the hospital administration to stay there.

He wasn't going anywhere.

The doctor spread out a bunch of scans in front of them. Oikawa's whole chest looked like a jungle.

“The disease spread very quickly- and look here - your lungs are almost completely filled.” The doctor said pointing out different areas on the charts. Iwaizumi was staring and nodding along and asking questions and all Oikawa could do was stare at the forget-me-nots wrapped around his lungs, stealing his life away from him.

“Oikawa-San are you listening?” The doctor inquired.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

Iwaizumi huffed next to him, and moved closer to him, intertwining their fingers together.

The doctor stared at their hands.

“You were saying?” Iwaizumi prodded.

“Ah yes,” he cleared his throat. “With the way this disease is spreading, the time you have is very limited. Once it takes over your lungs completely, you would lose your ability to breathe. You have to decide what you’re going to do, Oikawa-san.” He said, his eyes apologetic.

Oikawa looked down at his and Iwa-Chan’s intertwined fingers. There was so much he wanted to do. So many places he wanted to see. So many experiences he wanted to have. But apparently, he had no time. He looked away, blinking back tears.

_I cant believe I'm dying a virgin._

“What will happen, if his love isn’t unrequited? Like if he decided to confess and if it is returned?” Iwaizumi asked suddenly.

“Well, the flowers would stop growing and would start wilting. He’d have to get a small procedure done to remove the dead flowers.”

“Would that be dangerous?”

“Oh no! It’s a fairly simple procedure.”

“Okay. Well, Could we have tonight to think about what we’re going to do?” Iwaizumi asked, his voice heavy.

_We_.

“Sure. But please let us know by tomorrow morning.”

Iwaizumi wheeled Oikawa back to his room silently. They changed into their pyjamas and Iwaizumi climbed into the bed with him, pulling him close, till there was only a sliver of space between them.

“Oikawa Tooru.” He whispered, his breath fanning Tooru's eyelashes.

There was a lump in his throat or a flower in his throat.

_I wanted a lifetime with you, Iwa-chan_ \- he wanted to say. But he held his tongue.

“Tooru. Tell me.” Iwaizumi asked, his eyes hopeless and afraid.

_Because of him._

Oikawa never hated himself more than he did at this moment.

“Iwaizumi Hajime.” He breathed.

Then, before he could talk himself out of it, he pulled himself up and closed the space between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY OIKAWA YOU IDIOT! MUAHAHAHA  
> *sobs into a void* 
> 
> If you want to scream at me - here is my twitter - @saturnscoochie. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one from iwaizumi hajime's point of view ^-^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Drumroll*  
> its the final chapter!   
> i hope you all enjoy this chapter, and the fic as a whole.   
> thank you to everyone for patiently waiting for the end and for all the kudos and comments!

_“Your skin and bones; turn into something beautiful._

_And you know, you know I love you so”_

_\- Yellow (Coldplay)_

_._

Iwaizumi froze, as Oikawa pressed his lips with his own.

_Tooru is kissing me... I should kiss him back, oh fuck TOORU IS KISSING ME._

He was so shocked his body refused to move. It felt like a dream.

Tooru pulled away just a suddenly as he had kissed him.

“Iwa-chan I’m sorry- just forget-“ 

His head was full of fuzz and oikawa's annoying blubbering sounded so far away. 

He looked down touching his lips softly with his fingers, unable to believe what just happened his heart racing like a bullet train.

He looked up at his stupid dying best friend, who had already begun to babble bullshit. As per usual. Hi face was flushed and his hair a complete mess. And his lips.

_Stupid Oikawa and his religious use of lip-balm._

He pulled him back onto the bed, ignoring his muffled cry of pain, and kissed him, attacking his cherry flavoured lips with his own, breathing him in.

_Finally._

Oikawa melted under him, his fingers readily sliding into his hair, pulling him down on him as he parted his lips for Iwaizumi, breathing raggedly and calling out his name.

Tooru tasted like plants, which was so funny he, couldn't help but laugh against the other boy's lips.

_Fucking finally._

Iwaizumi pulled back, his tongue stained forget me not blue.

“Tooru, you are so stupid.” He whispered, nuzzling his forehead against him.

“Iwa-chan is the stupid one.” He replied, a million smiles dancing in his eyes.

_It wasn't fair that he was so beautiful._

They snuggled next to each other, kissing lazily and playing with their fingers.

“I can’t believe you like me back.” Tooru giggled.   
  
“Of course I like you back. I've liked you since the beginning of middle school.” He said nipping at his ear.  
“Wow, really?”  
  
"Yea i thought it was obvious. Makki kept teasing me about it."   
  
"It wasn't obvious at all, iwa-chan," oikawa pouted.   
  
"Okay, blind-kawa," He laughed, kissing the pout away.   
  
"I cant remember a time where I didn't love you..." Oikawa whispered, pressing his cheek against Iwaizumi's. 

Iwaizumi pulled him closer, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I cant imagine me without you." he whispered back.

"I didn't know iwa-chan was the sappy type." he smirked.

"Don't make me smack you, idiot." Iwaizumi growled, nuzzling against him, sleep hanging heavy in his limbs. It had been a long day. 

"Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi hummed in response, blinking his eyes open at his worried tone.   
  
“This means we are g-gay, right?” Tooru asked, his voice shaky.

He sat up and pressed another kiss to Oikawa's forehead, soothing the wrinkles between his brows.

“Maybe.” He replied.

“Aren’t you, scared?”

“A little. But I'm not going to stress about it now. We’ve got forever to think about this.”

“But our parents- My mom- everyone-“

Iwaizumi silenced him with a soft kiss. Immediately Oikawa's eyes fluttered shut and he swooned in his arms.   
Iwaizumi would never get used to how Oikawa softened under his touch. It made him giddy with happiness.   
  
“Forever, huh?” oikawa teased, a small smile playing on his lips.  
“Yes forever.” Iwaizumi said kissing the smugness away. 

He pulled back, his face earnest, “And anyway, it doesn't matter.” He whispered, against his lips.

“It doesn't?”

“No. None of that shit matters.” He said kissing him again. “As long as I have you.”

Tears filled Oikawa's eyes.

“Really?” he asked, his voice thick with emotions.

“There is no Iwaizumi Hajime without Oikawa Tooru.” He replied, kissing his best friend's knuckles.

“I love you Iwa-chan.”

“Love you too crybaby.” He laughed, kissing the taller boys nose. 

"Don't call me crybaby, mean iwa-chan."   
  
"I'll think about it," he smirked, "If you give me a kiss."   
  
"Wow, look at you extorting me for kisses, without even asking me out."  
  
"I think you'd kill me if i asked you out while you're wearing a hospital gown."   
  
"Well true." He laughed, "Such a considerate boyfriend you are iwa-chan,"   
  
"Don't call me that without even asking me out" he mocked, his cheeks blushing red.   
  
"Ive taught you well, Iwa-chan!" Tooru laughed, kissing him again. 

_Thank you to all the gods, the universe, everything, for Tooru kissing me today._ Iwaizumi prayed, his heart soaring with happiness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...   
> I'm sobbing from happiness even though I'm the one who wrote it xD 
> 
> this is my first fic on here, and it is so important to me because writing this helped me rediscover why writing was so fun.  
> i was stuck in a writers block for so long, but these words, and this fic, and iwaoi, helped me get out of that hole.   
> I'm planning a lot more fics, hopefully starting the next year- since my finals start tomorrow, haha.   
> thank you everyone who left kudos and commented and travelled with me through this fic. special love to yuki_chicken and fuzzy_brain23. yall's comments kept motivating me to keep posting and keep writing this fic. 
> 
> if you want to fangirl about iwaoi - here is my twitter - @saturnscoochie.

**Author's Note:**

> Oikawa gets an A+ in angsty simping class.  
> Good job oikawa but confess to Iwa-chan ALREADY!!!


End file.
